If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
