see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
