I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
