i just google imaged poop.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
