i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This is the high leading the old right now
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
