am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
