Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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