billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
