they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
