and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize