he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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