I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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