I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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