What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Is it penis luge time yet?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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