I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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