therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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