this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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