I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
