So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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