yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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