Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
