When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize