Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
