What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
