Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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