At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
