that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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