i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
