I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
