An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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