Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
