is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize