He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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