He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
