Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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