Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
