My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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