I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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