giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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