Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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