i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
