Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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