the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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