Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
