Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize