Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
