It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
