Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
