there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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