dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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