yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dick very happy bro
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize