real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
