Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
