You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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