nut hugger
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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