I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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