Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she smelled like a LAN party
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We are two peas in an std pod
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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