Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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