my sisters under your porch take her home
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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