I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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