when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
