Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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