a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
